


Son of Junkenstein

by AgentFontySeven



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alien Abduction, Comedy, Crack, Gen, Halloween, Junkenstein, Mpreg, Schadenfreude, Science Fiction, Slapstick, Slight Roadrat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFontySeven/pseuds/AgentFontySeven
Summary: Dr. Jamison Junkenstein's quest for revenge has ended in failure, but he's not down and out just yet! The good doctor wastes no time in planning another attack, and this time - surely - it would work. After all, he only had one monster the first time around. What if he brought along two? Of course, nothing ever seems to work out to plan for this hapless mad scientist, and this time is no different. This time, however, he blunders into an ordeal that is quite out of this world.





	1. Junkenstein's Revenge, Take 2

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to assure everyone who's been reading my other Overwatch fanfiction, the much-lived "Accidental Genius, Intentional Stupidity," that I have not abandoned that story. I've merely hit a bit of a block with it, but I do plan on returning to it. In the mean time, please enjoy this ridiculous bit of garbage that was inspired by a random game of Sims 4.

 Failure was something that Dr. Jamison Junkenstein never handled well. That much was no secret, of course. That had been the whole reason he'd gone down this twisted path of revenge against the town of Adlersbrunn and its monarchy. It's just a shame that such a venture had ended just like all of his others.

 This particular failure hadn't been as devastating as it could have been, of course. He'd lost an army of his automatons to the four strangers that had shown up to aide the King, but he'd managed to slip out of the castle courtyard with his life at the very least. Well, perhaps it was a bit of a misnomer to say that _he_ slipped out. The last thing he remembered before passing out from blood loss was the feeling of two big, strong arms hoisting him up off the cold stone and throwing him over a broad shoulder.

 That was the biggest relief after the whole ordeal; his beloved monster had survived as well. He wouldn't have known what he'd do if something happened to his greatest creation, not after he'd worked so hard to give him life. Besides, he'd already stolen all the good parts out of the mortuary. It would be a real pain in the ass if he had to start from scratch again.

 Of course, alive though his darling creation may have been, that didn't mean there wasn't a bit of repair work to do. When the good doctor next awoke, he'd found that his own wounds had been sloppily dressed with whatever pieces of cloth were in the immediate area, which included the lab coat he'd been wearing at the time. His creation had been sitting there nearby, a myriad of arrows still sticking out of him at all angles. Despite this, the green patchwork of a man didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

 Dr. Junkenstein had gotten straight to work, first working quickly - though not necessarily quietly - to remove a few bullets from his thigh and shoulder before setting to work yanking arrows out of his creation's thick hide and sewing up the holes. His monster put up significantly less of a fuss than the doctor himself had. Only when all of the recovery work was done did the doctor allow himself a moment to rest. He flopped heavily into a creaky old armchair, staring up at the single Edison bulb hanging over his head as he held a small bag of ice against his bruised eye.

 "I won't stand for this, y'know," Dr. Junkenstein grumbled aloud to no one in particular as he slumped down in his armchair, "They haven't heard the last of Dr. Jamison Junkenstein! I'll rebuild my automatons! They'll see! I'll be back to raze that whole village to the ground! I won't stop until I'm the one sitting on that throne with that ol' geezer of a King begging at my feet! Oh, just you wait, I'm gonna - Oi! What'd I tell ya 'bout messin' with yer stitches? Knock it off!"

 Junkenstein's monster looked up when his creator cut into his ranting and raving to scold him for fiddling with the seams that kept his body parts sewn tightly together. He gave a deep, rumbling growl, but relented and did as he was instructed. The good doctor was just lucky he was in the mood to behave at the moment. Dr. Junkenstein settled back down and continued his angry grumbling.

 "We can't just go rushing in there as we are, though... If those four fools are still around, there's a chance it'll all just fall apart like last time. I might be mad, but I'm not stupid. I know better than to stick with a failing plan. We need something more, something to tip the scales in our favor..."

 But what could that something be? He could build as many robotic servants as he wanted, but sheer numbers wouldn't do anything to further his quest for revenge, not with those four travelers still in the King's employ. His monster, his Modern Prometheus, had nearly been enough to push past the resistance, but they'd just barely fallen short. If only he had another creature just like him...

 "Aha! That's _it!_ " he shouted triumphantly, leaping up to his feet with suck suddenness that his monster lept up as well in preparation for an attack. Dr. Junkenstein was grinning from ear to ear. It was a wild grin, the smile of a madman who had just had a fantastic, terrible idea. He hobbled quickly over to his portly creation, his peg leg making a distinct metallic ping as he hurried across the cobblestone floor, and he grabbed the artificial man by his broad shoulders.

 "How could I have not seen it sooner? The answer's been right in front of my nose! All I must do is make another _you!_ "

 The creature's beady black eyes merely stared down at the doctor, clearly not understanding or caring what he was on about. That didn't stop Junkenstein's mind from running wild at the possibilities, though. He was already formulating a plan in his head. He needed to source new parts, of course, but the trickiest part was the animation of those stitched-together parts. He'd already learned through process of trial and error that application of electrical energy wasn't enough to give life to flesh. He needed a different sort of spark.

 The doctor's eyes wandered down to his creature's wide chest. It was the spark of life - the enigmatic stone that the Witch of the Wilds had given to him - that had finally given rise to his prized creation. He'd embedded that very stone into his monster's chest, ensuring that it was, in essence, immortal. Could he still tap into that power to create a second creature? If so, he'd prefer to find a way to do so without removing the stone.

 Suddenly, he had a thought. Could he take the next step in creating artificial life? Could he really engineer an analog for the natural process of creating a new being? If anyone could do it, there was not one so mad and so brilliant as him. He was suddenly very glad that he'd had the forethought to make his creature so large, and for a reason entirely different from his original plans. He suddenly glanced back up into that pig-like face, shooting his creation a lopsided grin that just oozed with a request the large creature wasn't going to like.

 "So, I, uhhh... I don't suppose you'd be open to, err... Becoming a vessel for my next great creation?" Dr. Junkenstein asked hesitantly, walking a pair of fingers playfully across the surface of his monster's stomach. The implication of this proposal was not lost on the creature, and he reacted accordingly. The doctor suddenly found his neck enclosed in the vice-like grip of a gigantic fist, his feet lifting several inches off the ground.

 "Gurk! O-okay, _okay!_ Bad idea! I get it!" he choked out, clawing at the massive fingers that were currently squeezing the life out of him. The genuine fear in his eyes seemed to effectively communicate that he had promptly abandoned that plan, because the creature had released him just as his vision began to fill with a swirling of stars. Dr. Junkenstein gasped, desperate to fill his aching lungs with air once more. Well, that idea certainly wasn't happening. Now what?

 "Well... Looks like the only choice is to get my hands on another spark of life. You don't suppose that witch would be willing to part with another one of those, eh?" he asked, to which his creature gave a small grunt. The doctor's shoulder's slumped a bit at that.

 "Yeah, you're right... I still owe 'er one for the last one she gave me. She probably wouldn't give me another..."

 But perhaps he could find one? After all, the Witch of the Wilds did live in a mystical part of the Black Forest. Surely, somewhere out there, there must be more of those crystals...

 

* * *

 

 

 By nightfall, the doctor and his creation were deep in one of the darkest corners of the Black Forest. The moon was obscured by a thick covering of clouds that threatened rain but never quite delivered. Rather than lament at the lack of light to see by, the cloudy weather could possibly help them. In the darkness they could more easily see the glow of the crystals they sought.

 "Alright, now if I were a magical life-giving crystal, where would I be?" Dr. Junkenstein wondered aloud, parting the thick branches of a bush with his arms to look behind it. His creature let out a grunt and shrugged his massive shoulders.

 "Well... you look over that way, then. We'll find it faster if we split up. You know what they look like, right?"

 A grunt in the affirmative was his reply.

 "Good. Now hurry up and be careful. Who knows what that witch'll do to us if she finds us snooping around here. Probably turn us into newts or some crap like that."

 With that, his monster lumbered off through the forest in the opposite direction, the sound of trees crashing to the ground following him all the way. Not exactly inconspicuous, but the big guy was more than capable of taking care of himself. The doctor himself, on the other hand, was considerably more... _squishy._ He had to be just a little bit more careful.

 Dr. Junkenstein continued his trudge through the forest, keeping a keen eye out for anything glowing green. That damn witch had to keep them around here somewhere. Finally, after about an hour of searching in the dark, he caught a flash of green out of the corner of his eye. He turned in that direction, catching sight of a patch of foliage that was being lit by some glowing object below.

 _Eureka!_ Dr. Junkenstein took off sprinting through the dense underbrush towards the source of the light. He couldn't believe it! So these woods _did_ contain the crystals he needed! If only he'd known, he wouldn't have made a deal with that damn witch and her servant.

 As soon as the doctor came to the point of the lights origin, he stopped. The smile dissolved from his face as he stared down at the source of the light. It was no crystal, though it emitted a similar glow. It looked to be a device of some sort, the outer casing consisting of a single smooth piece of gleaming silver metal.

 "Wot the..." he mumbled to himself as he picked the device up off the ground. He turned it over in his hand, trying to find some sort of control panel or some other hint as to the device's purpose. Before he could make heads or tails of it, however, a new light pulled his attention away.

 A sudden flood of bright white light from above practically blinded Dr. Junkenstein. He shielded his eyes, peering up into the sky to try to find the source of the light. What he saw baffled him. It seemed to be a huge floating disk of the same kind of metal as the device in his hands, a ring of glowing lights encircling the perimeter. The center of the disk was an open circular portal from which the blinding light was streaming. It was impossible to see anything within.

 "Hooley dooley..." the doctor whispered to himself in utter amazement. He was so stunned that he loosened his grip on the mystery device in his hand. Rather than fall to the ground, however, the device floated in place in midair. Actually, now that he thought of it, he sort of felt like _he_ was floating himself. He looked down, and was quite surprised to find that he was currently hovering several meters above the ground. Before he had the chance to call for his loyal creation, he was abruptly pulled upward into the floating disk at breakneck speed, and everything went black.


	2. Close Encounters of the Junker Kind

 Consciousness returned to Dr. Junkenstein slowly and in pieces at a time, almost as though he'd been sedated. Actually, the more he woke up, the more he was certain that was exactly what had happened. But who would have the nerve to drug him? Could it have been that old Egyptian alchemist that had helped to thwart his plans for revenge? She would certainly have some motivation for trying to take him out permanently, especially if she was still on the King's payroll. Although, on second thought, this sort of thing didn't seem like her style. She seemed a little more "noble" than that, whatever that was worth.

 No, if the doctor had to pin this on anyone, it would have to be the Witch of the Wilds. She must have caught him snooping around her property and took him out with some potion or... _something_. He shouldn't have rushed over to that strange device so fast. Surely that carelessness had been what did him in.

 Wait... There _was_ that odd device, wasn't there? Yes, that's right! And then there was the strange disk-like object in the sky, and the bright light that came from it. He also distinctly remembered being lifted up into the air. The witch may have had some truly mystifying tricks up her sleeves, but strange devices and levitating disks didn't seem like the kinds of tricks she dealt in. So if not her, and not the King's lackeys, who else? He didn't recall pissing anyone else off. Well, not _recently_ , at least.

 Dr. Junkenstein's sight started coming back to him, and as soon as he opened his eyes he was forced to snap them shut once more. A bright white light hanging overhead threatened to blind him in an instant. He tried to move to shield his eyes with his mechanical right arm, but it refused to budge. Oh, of all the times for the damn thing to malfunction... He must have missed some kind of damage from the battle at the castle. Or so he thought, at first. Upon trying to move his other arm he discovered that he couldn't move anything at all, whether it be metal and wires or flesh and bone.

 As more sensations returned to him, he managed to take in a bit more information. He could hear a vague chattering all around him, though the strange voices spoke in no language he understood. He could feel a slab of cold metal under his back, and his mind immediately deduced that it must be an examination table of some sort. Could these be rival scientists from a distant land? And here he'd thought the serious pursuit of science such as his was more or less limited to the Western world.

 Once his eyes adjusted to the light and he was able to better see his surroundings, however, he discovered that reality was far stranger than even his mad mind could imagine. He found himself in a circular chamber of gleaming silver metal, control panels of crisp colorful lights blinking along the gently curving walls. What really stunned him were the little men that swarmed all around, diligently working at this and that.

 Except he wasn't entirely sure they were men at all. They had the vague shape of a man, but their heads were bulbous, their eyes large and completely black, and their skin was a light grayish-green. Long, nimble fingers worked at strange devices, all the while their tiny mouths emitted a constant stream of inhuman chatter.

 One of the creatures noticed Dr. Junkenstein stirring and promptly let out a new stream of chatter directed to one of the devices next to the examination table. In the next moment, he felt the table incline forward, lifting him to lay more vertically than horizontally. Despite not having any physical restraints holding him to it, he didn't slip off the table as it angled upward. He wondered at what strange sort of technology these creatures used to keep him in place and immobile.

 He didn't get much chance to ponder on it. Almost as soon as he was completely vertical, another one of the strange creatures walked in. This one was distinctly different from all the others around him. Where the others were small - about the height of an eight year old child - this one was very tall, possibly even as tall as the doctor himself when he wasn't slouching. He was also dressed in tight-fitting robes of rich blues and golds, the material sparkling slightly as though woven from fine threads of a light-as-air metal. The smaller ones, by contrast, didn't seem to be wearing anything at all.

 This tall one strode elegantly towards the trapped scientist, its hands folded neatly behind its back and its head held high. The smaller ones immediately moved out of the way as it approached, bowing their heads ever so slightly. It was quite clear that this one was in charge. It came to a stop just in front of Dr. Junkenstein and looked him up and down. It then let out what the doctor assumed was the equivalent of a sigh.

 "Would you just look at this mess... By the Core, it's half copper alloys," the creature mumbled in a surprisingly human voice - and, most helpfully, in English. It then raised its voice slightly, seeming to address the rest of the creatures in the room. "Let this be a lesson to the lot of you: _never_ agree to accept substitutions. I swear, this is the last scrap of exotic materials I give to a primitive lifeform if what they give me in return is a specimen with half of its body missing."

 "O-oi... You tryin'... you tryin' ta start sumthin'..?" Dr. Junkenstein mumbled out groggily the instant he could will his vocal chords to work through the lingering sedation. "'Cause I'll drive these copper alloys up yer narrow arse if ya are."

 The tall creature returned its attention to the doctor, a look of mock surprise on its face.

 "Ah, the human speaks," it remarked almost boredly, giving the man another once over with its inky black eyes. The doctor didn't take to kindly to this things condescending attitude.

 "Yer damn right I do! And that's Dr. Jamison Junkenstein to you!"

 The look of mock surprise on the creatures face became slightly more genuine.

 "A doctor, you say? That's very interesting," it began, though its tone suggested it was anything but amused. "Tell me, dear doctor... I don't suppose you've encountered a female of your species in possession of a glowing green crystal, by any chance?"

 This sudden shift in conversation baffled Dr. Junkenstein. Yes, he sure as hell had encountered a woman like that. This creature had to be talking about the Witch of the Wilds. And the crystal could only be the spark of life. What did these things know about it?

 "Yeah. Yeah, I know her," he replied, deciding a bit of honesty may get him further than lying. "She gave me that crystal for my experiments. I, uhh... Don't suppose you fellas are here to take it back, are ya?"

 "No, no, not at all!" the creature replied, suddenly putting on a rather amicable air. "Such materials are relatively rare, but what I gave your friend was an insignificant fraction of our supply."

 Well, this little encounter turned out better than he thought! Who'd have thought that, whilst out searching for more of the witch's elusive crystals, he would just happen to be abducted by her supplier! A lopsided grin spread across the doctor's face.

 "Well, I tell ya what, mate," he replied, echoing the creatures amicable facade, "That's music to me ears. Now, since that one little crystal ain't much to you fine blokes, I don't suppose you'd be willing to part with another?"

 The creature seemed to consider this for a moment, sizing up the doctor once more.

 "An intriguing request..." it began hesitantly before seeming to make a decision. "I suppose we could arrange something... Though, there's still the matter of _payment_ for the first crystal."

 Dr. Junkenstein's grin faded at that. What was this about payment? He'd already agreed to do whatever the witch wanted when she gave him the spark of life. What more payment was required of him? The creature seemed able to read his mind and proceeded to explain.

 "You see, doctor... When we gave that crystal to your friend, it was with the understanding that either herself or a specimen of her choosing would _'volunteer'_ for participation in an experiment of ours, and I'm afraid she may have left you holding the bag in this instance."

 Ah, so that was the deal, eh? She gave him the crystal, but also all the baggage that came along with it. Well, that certainly explained her "generosity."

 "So, uhhh... What kind of experiment are we talking here?" he inquired, naturally intrigued. This sort of thing was right up his alley, and if it wasn't too terribly bad he wouldn't rule out his own participation entirely. The creature gave him what appeared to be a smile.

 "Oh, nothing that would cause you any harm, I assure you! Though, I can't promise that it won't cause you some... _minor_ discomfort, but that will pass after it's all done. In fact, if your experiments involve the use of the crystals we discussed, then I think you'll find that our research is along the same lines as your own."

 Dr. Junkenstein couldn't deny that was definitely interested, but this creature's lack of specificity left him slightly suspicious.

 "Okay, so suppose I agree to do this experiment of yours... After it's all done, you'll give me another crystal?"

 "If all goes well, then certainly! We love willing and reliable repeat customers! They're in woefully short supply, you understand."

 Dr. Junkenstein thought it over for a long moment. It honestly didn't sound like a terrible deal. After all, what was a bit of discomfort when it ultimately allowed him to continue his grand plans? Besides, if what this creature said was true about the course of their research being similar to his own, perhaps he could learn something new from it all.

 "Alright, mate, you got a deal." he agreed finally, much to the relief of the tall creature.

 "Excellent! Now then, if that's all settled," it began, turning towards the short workers that had remained silent throughout the whole exchange, "Recline the table and prepare the specimen for the procedure. We've delayed long enough."

 "W-wait, you're doing it _already?!_ But you haven't even told me what you're going to do!" Dr. Junkenstein protested even as the table started lowering down once more. None of the creatures were paying attention, however, and the tall one turned to leave.

 "Report to me once the surgery is complete. Oh, and if you value your jobs, you'll have a bottle of Romulan ale waiting for me in my quarters in the next five minutes. These primitives are always such an annoyance to deal with..."

 There was a bit of chatter from one of the workers, causing the tall one to falter in his steps momentarily.

 "Y-yes, of _course_ I know my universal translator is still activated! What kind of idiot do you take me for?!" he barked back sharply, clearly trying to mask its embarrassment with bravado. As soon as the worker had returned to its duties, however, the tall one surreptitiously reached up to tap a small metallic pin on its chest, and its speech became a grumbling of the same otherworldly chatter the others used as he rushed out of the room.

 "H-hey! Wait just a goddamn minute! What do you mean 'surgery?!' I didn't sign up for no surgery! Oi, you get yer damn hands offa me, ya creepy li'l drongo!" he shouted as the smaller creatures closed in around him. He tried to struggle, but whatever technology they had keeping him immobile was still active. Currently, all he could do was shout about it all. But even that came to an end soon enough. One of the creatures had a small cylinder in its hand and used it to spray something in his face. An instant later, he was out cold again.

 

* * *

 

 

 Dr. Junkenstein wasn't sure how much time had passed since he passed out last, but he knew he wasn't in the same place anymore. He could feel something cold and wet stuck all over his face, and an earthy smell filled his nostrils. With an aching groan, he got his arms underneath him and lifted himself up off the ground. He soon discovered that he'd been left face down in the dirt in the same area of the Black Forest that he'd been before he was abducted.

 As he attempted to shake the damp blades of grass off of his face, he started to wonder if the whole ordeal had been some sort of vivid dream. Perhaps he'd tripped and bumped his head on something? Yes, that _had_ to be it. Something that crazy couldn't really happen, could it?

 Unfortunately, that illusion was quickly shattered by two things. The first was the very distinct ache and significant tightness in his abdomen that was impossible to ignore. The second was the glowing green crystal cluster that had been left right in front of his face.


	3. The Price of Creation

 It was a cool, pleasant night, and the Witch of the Wilds was fully intent on enjoying it. She'd already brewed herself a pot of her favorite tea, leaned back in a large, fur-covered armchair, and kicked her feet up by the fire. She took in a deep breath, drawing in the beautiful aroma emanating from the warm cup in her hands before letting it out again in a relaxed sigh. She then snuggled back against the soft furs of her chair, sipping lightly at her tea as the fireplace crackled lightly before her.

 As she pulled the cup away from her lips, she noticed something strange about her tea. The surface of her drink was disturbed by tiny ripples radiating from the center at regular intervals, causing her to arch a single thin eyebrow. Gradually, the ripples grew in intensity until she could swear she could feel the responsible vibrations running through her chair. Within moments, the vibrations became a thunder fast approaching through the forest.

 The tranquility of the night was shattered at about the same time the front door fell to splinters on the floor. Without so much as a knock, in ducked a gargantuan green patchwork of a man, his beady black eyes fixed squarely on the woman still sitting before the fire. The witch sat for a long moment in stunned silence, baffled at the unexpected intrusion and more than a little curious as to what the giant brute intended to do now that he'd busted down her door. Oddly enough, he didn't seem too keen on doing anything but stand there and look menacing - which he did extremely well, to his credit.

 Just at the moment the silence became painfully awkward, there was some racket from behind the monster. The witch could just see two hands - one gloved in purple and the other constructed in brass - attempting to pry past the mountain of flesh blocking the door.

 "Oi, move outta the way, ya big beluga!" growled an all-too-familiar voice from just outside the doorway, accompanied by the strained grunts and futile scraping of feet that clearly told the story of a scrawny man trying to move someone well out of his weight class. After a good moment the immovable object decided to finally take a step aside, causing a very flustered-looking Dr. Junkenstein to come tumbling in, landing face-first right on the floor in front of where the witch sat.

 "Ah, guten Abend, Dr. Junkenstein. What brings you here tonight?" she greeted casually, bringing her cup of tea up to her lips once more. She couldn't quite hide her amusement as she watched the scientist hobble unsteadily up to his feet a tad less gracefully than was normal even for him. She continued to sip at her tea while she gave the good doctor a moment to catch his breath. Finally, he straightened up a bit and pointed an accusatory finger her way.

 " _You!_ " he hissed out breathlessly, "You got a lot ta answer for, Sheila!"

 "Oh? Well, I would be _delighted_ to hear whatever it is you're talking about." she replied as calmly as ever, her demeanor the exact opposite of the frazzled man before her.

 "Don't you play dumb with me! You oughta know _exactly_ what I'm talkin' about! I just had a run-in with yer li'l gray sky-friends!" he shot back, turning that finger of his upwards as if to better illustrate his point. Both of the witch's eyebrows raised at that. Well, this was certainly going to be interesting.

 "I see..." she began, a little more hesitant than before, "I take it you've met 'His Tallness' Mal'Kesh, then. A real charmer, that one..."

 "Is that the bastard's name? Good! Now I have something to inscribe on his tombstone when I get my hands on him next! But don't you think that lets _you_ off the hook! I might have a score to settle with that overgrown tree frog, but that goes _double_ fer you! You left a few details out when ya gave me that crystal, didn't ya? Thought you'd pass the buck on to ol' Jamison Junkenstein, didn't ya?!"

 "Ah, yes... Perhaps there were one or two _tiny_ details I neglected to mention..." she admitted, lifting her cup up once more in preparation for taking another sip, "Honestly, I thought you would enjoy working with another scientist for once. After all, his research seems very similar to your own, doesn't it?"

 " _'Enjoy'?!_ " Dr. Junkenstein repeated incredulously, all the while frantically working to unbutton his lab coat, much to the witch's chagrin. "What the hell am I supposed to enjoy about _this?!_ "

 The witch spat out her tea the instant the doctor opened up his coat, revealing a large abdominal bulge in the man's normally scrawny form. Well, she certainly wasn't expecting _that_.

 "E-err... Gained a bit of weight lately, I see," she joked awkwardly, though she was well aware that this sort of thing was no normal weight gain. While this bulge did look amusingly similar to a beer gut, she knew it couldn't simply have materialized there overnight. It seemed Dr. Junkenstein was quite aware of that as well.

 "You know what this is, don't you? What the hell did that Mal'Kesh bastard put in me?!"

 Oh, she sure wasn't looking forward to explain this one. The witch set aside the remainder of her tea, clearing her throat awkwardly.

 "Well... These creatures - they call themselves 'extraterrestrials' or something like that - they're a very interesting group. From what I've been able to gather in my own limited interactions with them, these creatures come in two varieties. There's the short ones which, like your own creation here, are made artificially and serve as workers. The tall ones are a sort of noble class and seem to be in charge of everything. Unfortunately, these tall ones are unable to carry children of their own, so they've made a practice of, erm... impregnating other species with their young..."

 Dr. Junkenstein couldn't reply right away. For a long, tense moment, all he could do was stare back at the witch, his eyes practically bugging out behind his goggles and his mouth hanging open. When he finally recovered, he let out a burst of nervous laughter and began shaking his head.

 "I-I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong... See - silly me - I could have sworn you just implied that those creepy li'l aliens _impregnated_ me."

 "Y-... yes, that is correct."

 Dr. Junkenstein's laughter turned from nervous to hysterical in an instant, his face twisting into a manic, angry grin.

 "Then you got about ten seconds ta magic this thing outta me before I turn yer li'l cottage here into a smoldering crater!"

 "I'm afraid I can't do that, Doctor."

 That wasn't the answer Dr. Junkenstein wanted to hear. He immediately pulled his grenade launcher from its holster at his hip, aiming it squarely in the blonde woman's direction. Almost the instant he did, a black mist snaked across the floor, coalescing into solid form in the space between the doctor and the witch. The jack-o-lantern-faced wraith drew his weapons, aiming them at the peg-legged scientist. This act of retaliation was all it took for the doctor's large - and very protective - companion to draw his over-sized hand cannon and take aim at the Reaper. The witch's servant shifted the aim of one of his weapons towards Junkenstein's monster, and the standoff held.

 "Now, now, gentlemen," the witch spoke up, "I'm sure we can work all of this out without violence."

 "We sure as hell can," Dr. Junkenstein replied, never taking his eyes off the Reaper, "You can get this thing outta me, and I can walk outta here. Everyone leaves happy."

 "As I said, I can't do that," she replied, raising a placating finger when the doctor started to protest, "I'm afraid nothing can be gained without paying a price. Those 'aliens' as you call them gave me that spark of life in exchange for a vessel for one of their young. As I recall, you also agreed to pay a price when I gave the crystal to you, correct? One request, no matter what it may be, and you would honor it. Isn't that right, Doctor?"

 "Oh for the love of..." Dr. Junkenstein grumbled out through gritted teeth, so exasperated by what she was suggesting that he lowered his weapon. "I ain't gonna be no one's experiment, lady!"

 "I'm sorry, but that's my request. I want you to carry out this experiment to its completion. Unless, of course..." she paused, her eyes shifting over towards the doctor's beloved creation, "You'd prefer to _return_ what I gave to you?"

 Dr. Junkenstein's blood ran cold at that suggestion. He couldn't let her take the spark of life out of his monster. He wasn't sure if his creation could survive the ordeal. He may have another crystal now, but he couldn't risk losing what he already had. Still, this wasn't the sort of thing he had in mind when he said he wanted to create life out of nothing.

 He let out a defeated sigh. He sure hoped his monster appreciated all the shit he went through for him...

 "Alright, _fine!_ A deal's a deal, I guess..." he grumbled out, "But how long is all this supposed to take? I got things to do! I can't have this weighing me down for months! Besides, how the hell is this even gonna work?! I mean... How's it gonna... Er... I mean, I'm a _bloke!_ I ain't got a... A... Well, _y'know!_ "

 The witch couldn't help but giggle lightly at how embarrassed the proud Dr. Junkenstein had become discussing such things. Watching this spectacle was almost worth spending her favor for the mere entertainment value alone, never mind her actual motives.

 "My apologies, Herr Doktor. That's not my department."

 "B-but!" he protested, his voice cracking slightly, "What am I supposed to _do?!_ "

 In response to his desperate plea, the Reaper ghosted closer until he was right in the scientist's face.

 "You're a smart guy. Figure it out." he hissed out in his usual menacing manner. He then let out an amused chuckle as the doctor gave an uncomfortable groan.

 "For the record, I don't like this one bit!"

 "Duly noted. Enjoy the rest of your night, Doctor."

 With that, Dr. Junkenstein continued his grumbling, but turned to leave the witch's shack, his monster following close behind. The witch waited until the crashing of trees and the thud of footsteps faded into the distance. Once she was sure that they wouldn't be interrupted again, she picked up her cup of tea and resumed her relaxation.

 "Reaper, I'd like you to keep an eye on the good doctor. I'm almost positive he'll try to bend the rules as much as possible, and I can't risk any damage to the creature he carries." she ordered casually, taking a sip of her now barely-warm tea. The Reaper let a small growl rumble in his throat.

 "A front-row seat to watch him squirm. _Great._ " he hissed out before floating towards the exit. Before he had the chance to leave, however, the witch spoke up once more.

 "Oh, and before you go, be a dear and fix that door for me, would you? There's a terrible draft."


	4. Self-Inflicted Mad Science

 Dr. Junkenstein let out an unhappy groan as he tossed in his bed for the hundredth time that night. He knew that straw-stuffed sack that passed as his mattress wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it sure as hell hadn't tied him up into knots like this before. His spine felt like someone had tried to use it as a noose to hang him in his sleep. Perhaps it was the way he was laying? That had to be it. He usually slept on his stomach. When he tried to correct this abnormality, he was suddenly reminded of why he couldn't sleep on his stomach.

 "Uhhg... Do me a favor and kill me now..." he grumbled against his pillow, reaching over blindly towards where his portly creation usually slept. His hand hit nothing but a large indention in the mattress next to him. He cracked one eye open, letting out another groan when he confirmed he was alone. Now where did his monster wander off to so early in the morning?

 He sat himself up, which was considerably more difficult than he expected. Looking down, he quickly discovered why. Whatever creature those aliens implanted in him seemed to have almost doubled in size overnight. He let out a small yelp of surprise, staring down at his swollen abdomen. Well, he certainly wasn't expecting it to move along _this_ quickly. On the bright side, that meant he didn't have to deal with this for much longer. Unfortunately, that also meant he had virtually no time to to figure out what to do about it.

 Well, there was no use sitting there and moping about it. There was work to be done. He reached over and grabbed his mechanical arm off of the makeshift nightstand by the bed, plugging it into the brass socket that served as his shoulder. Once he had both hands on him, he reached over to install his other prosthesis. When he attempted to bend over and attach his peg-leg, he ran into a bit of trouble. He couldn't bend himself quite far enough to get his hands on his stump of a right leg.

 "Oh, you gotta be kidding me..." he growled down at the hateful little thing in his gut. As if being seen like this wasn't embarrassing enough, now he couldn't even dress himself!

 "Oi, you there!" he called over to one of the simple automatons that was milling about in the next room. This one hadn't been built for combat - it was an earlier, servant-type model - so it hovered over and waited obediently for further orders. The doctor held his prosthetic leg out to the robot. This was all the instruction it needed, and it proceeded to install the limb.

 "Tell me somethin', fella," Dr. Junkenstein began as his robotic servant worked, "What did I ever do to deserve this crap? I mean, sure, there was that whole 'taking revenge on the whole bloody village' thing, but they all _deserved_ it! I mean, you know good an' well what they did ta me!"

 The robot, of course, didn't respond. It wasn't equipped to respond, and even if it was it didn't have the mental capacity to process what was being said to it. Dr. Junkenstein knew this well - he built the thing, after all - but it didn't bother him. He just liked having something moving to rant at.

 Once all of his bits and pieces were attached, the doctor dragged himself up to his feet and grabbed his lab coat off its rack on his way out of the bedroom. A few seconds later he could be heard cursing to himself, having to struggle a bit more than he'd like to admit to button the last few buttons over his stomach. His general bitching continued as he stomped his way through towards his lab, intent on drowning himself in his work.

 Before he could get to his main workbench, he tripped over something left carelessly in the way, damn near falling flat on his face. Luckily for him, it was a single strong arm that he slammed into rather than the stone floor below. He let out a yelp, clinging to that arm and looking up at who'd caught him. Unsurprisingly, he found himself staring up into the black beady eyes of his monster.

 "Oi, I was lookin' fer ya, y'know! Where you been all night, ya giant idiot?!" the doctor growled even as he used the very monster he was chastising to regain his balance, such as it was. He didn't really expect an answer to his questioning, but much to his surprise he got one. The hulking creature pointed down at his creator's feet. When Dr. Junkenstein looked down, he spotted a sizable pile of algae-covered stones that looked as though they'd just been fished out of the river.

 "Shiny green rocks," the monster grunted out inarticulately. In a flash the doctor understood. His creation must have gone out to continue his search for another spark of life not knowing he'd had one hidden away in his lab coat. He had to give it to the big lug, they certainly _were_ green rocks. They might have even been a little shiny when they were pulled out of the river. He couldn't help but smile a little. For a giant murderous monster, his creation could be adorable sometimes.

 "Aww, that's real sweet of ya, big guy, but when I said 'shiny green rocks,' I meant-" Dr. Junkenstein cut himself off when he looked back up at his monster, who was staring back expectantly. He paused for a moment, rethinking what he was saying. "Actually, yeah. Those are great. They'll be plenty for what I'm making. Good job, buddy!"

 The monster puffed his broad chest out proudly at the praise, satisfied that he had managed to raise the good doctor's spirits even with all of the crazy things that had been happening lately. He may not have been a fan of taking orders, but he was quite fond of his creator, so he would be obedient every now and then if it kept him relatively happy.

 "Look, why don't ya go lay down, yeah? Ya been out wading in the muck all night, and I want ya good and rested up for some early-mornin' grave robbing. We got another monster ta build!" the doctor said, clapping a hand down on the giant's shoulder and sending him on his way. His monster nodded enthusiastically before heading off towards the bedroom.

 Dr. Junkenstein watched as his creation lumbered off, waiting until he heard the distinct sound of several hundred pounds throwing itself onto a half-flattened straw mattress. As soon as he heard the very distinct sound of snoring from across the hall, he hurried back towards his lab - this time taking care not to trip over any rocks.

 He plopped himself heavily into a creaky wooden chair and started rummaging through the drawers of one of his work stations. It took him a bit to find what he was looking for in all the disorganized clutter, but after a bit of frustrated swearing to himself he emerged with a triumphant "Aha!," holding a large glass syringe above his head. He then blew off the fine layer of dust from the foggy surface before attaching a very long, very thin needle to the end.

 "Alright, ya li'l space frog spawn, time ta figure out what yer made of," he grumbled down at the bulge in his stomach, brandishing that truly horrifying needle. He unfastened one of the straining buttons of his coat and turned that needle around to aim at his gut. "Trust me, kiddo. This'll hurt me more'n it'll hurt you."

 Dr. Junkenstein hesitated a moment more, his eyes locked on the razor-sharp tip of that needle. One couldn't really blame him for being uneasy about it all. After all, the needle he was preparing to stick himself with was more than half as long as his forearm. Anyone in their right mind would think twice about impaling themselves on such a thing. Of course, Dr. Jamison Junkenstein had never been accused of being in his right mind, and he was never one to let a typical man's sanity get between himself and the acquisition of scientific knowledge, the more forbidden the better.

 Before he could follow through with his little self examination, there was a loud bang and the syringe in his hand shattered into a million pieces. The doctor let out a shriek he wasn't entirely proud of, dropping what remained of the syringe and pushing himself away from his worktable so fast that he ended tipping his chair over. When he managed to regain his senses enough to look around for the source of the explosive disturbance, he found that a menacing form was now standing over him, the barrel of its weapon still smoking from the shot it had fired a moment ago.

 "Good morning, Doctor," the Reaper hissed out with the same thick venom with which he addressed just about everyone, "I could have sworn you were told to behave yourself."

 "B-behave myself?" the doctor stammered back, letting a nervous giggle burble to the surface as his eyes darted towards the wraith's weapons periodically, "I-I dunno what yer talking about! I wasn't doin' nothin'! I was just doin' my work, that's all!"

 "Oh _really?_ " the dark figure replied, kneeling down closer to where the doctor lay. Dr. Junkenstein gave a panicked yelp, shielding himself with his arms as a steel clawed hand reached down uncomfortably near his neck. Rather than strangle the life out of him, however, the Reaper instead grabbed the broken end of the syringe off the floor, rolling the long needle between his fingers. "Does your work usually include experiments on your own body?"

 "Okay, first of all, just look at me, mate. Of _course_ I experiment on m'self every now and then," he retorted, holding up his mechanical right arm and wiggling the fingers as though to prove the point. "Second of all, I wasn't gonna hurt the li'l freeloader! I was just gonna take a tissue sample, figure out what the hell I've gotten my arse into!"

 " _Right_. And I'm sure you were gonna be _real_ careful about it," the Reaper replied, turning that broken needle over in his claws once more before "carelessly" dropping it over the doctor's head below. Dr. Junkenstein let out a yelp, flinching away in fear as the needle clattered against the stone floor, just missing his ear.

 The Reaper couldn't help but let out a sadistic chuckle at how easy it was to torment the mad doctor when he didn't have his overgrown lapdog around. Perhaps there was something to be gained from this pitiful babysitting job after all. His amusement was fueled further when the doctor looked back up at him, clearly unsure of what would happen next. His amusement was short-lived, however, as the delicious look of fear on the scientist's face suddenly melted into a grin of crazed glee.

 The dark wraith immediately returned to his full height, pivoting on his heel and bringing both of his guns up to bear. He immediately found himself staring up into the furious black eyes of Dr. Junkenstein's very protective - and currently quite livid - monster. He didn't get the chance to tighten his claws around the triggers of his weapons before a huge fist slammed into the side of his head with all the force of a sledge hammer, sending him flying across the room. The Reaper scattered into a mist of black smoke before his body could hit the far wall, and the miasma snaked its way somewhere up into the rafters.

 "What the hell took ya so long?! Ya know what that freak coulda done ta me while you were in there napping?!" Dr. Junkenstein barked out even as two strong arms hoisted him up off the ground. Of course, even though he was bitching the whole time, that didn't stop him from clinging to the big guy in a grateful embrace. He didn't expect he would be sending his creation off to do anything without him for a good while after this incident.


End file.
